brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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