This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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