Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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