i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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