went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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