she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
