Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  My penis looks like a roll of pennies

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh. Ok. I get the hint.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...

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  (404): My penis looks like a roll of pennies (303): Oh. Ok. I get the hint. (404): Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird... http://tfl.nu/xs9r
  Replies (15) Good night (651) Bad night (3161)
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  (310): View more from California

  So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers

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  (310): So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers http://tfl.nu/ezh2
  Replies (1) Good night (2059) Bad night (551)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (645) Bad night (4101)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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  (716): Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her http://tfl.nu/fzg2
  Replies (5) Good night (846) Bad night (3697)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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  (970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng
  Replies (29) Good night (10556) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple

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  (401): After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple http://tfl.nu/1d3q
  Replies (11) Good night (4293) Bad night (946)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

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  (412): Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine http://tfl.nu/x929
  Replies (15) Good night (4038) Bad night (1523)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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  (612): drunk taco night MLK would want it this way. http://tfl.nu/ye78
  Replies (9) Good night (2753) Bad night (870)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.

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  (503): I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes. http://tfl.nu/0nvq
  Replies (9) Good night (2133) Bad night (648)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?

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  (914): He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right? http://tfl.nu/6yne
  Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.

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  (732): So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury. http://tfl.nu/d7aw
  Replies (8) Good night (552) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

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  (513): You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when. http://tfl.nu/o3c9
  Replies (6) Good night (1388) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

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  (732): For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love http://tfl.nu/5u72
  Replies (1) Good night (998) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.

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  (256): I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream. http://tfl.nu/m15e
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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  (215): i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass. http://tfl.nu/9tw7
  Replies (7) Good night (688) Bad night (316)

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