he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
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I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?