Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver