Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?

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  (604): he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him? http://tfl.nu/uzgr
  Replies (65) Good night (617) Bad night (6559)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

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  (860): I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes. http://tfl.nu/jq79
  Replies (9) Good night (446) Bad night (3419) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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  (702): Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad http://tfl.nu/156q
  Replies (61) Good night (7031) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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  (239): Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls? http://tfl.nu/pmwm
  Replies (11) Good night (4947) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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  (508): Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day. http://tfl.nu/pq24
  Replies (12) Good night (7206) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.

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  (+44): I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating. http://tfl.nu/brik
  Replies (8) Good night (1036) Bad night (2457) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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  (802): I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me. http://tfl.nu/p69o
  Replies (11) Good night (963) Bad night (2895) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Me toooooo!! Margaritas

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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  (773): Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach (630): Me toooooo!! Margaritas (773): I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good http://tfl.nu/3y14
  Replies (51) Good night (1149) Bad night (3634)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1192) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.

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  (740): The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting. http://tfl.nu/j3yf
  Replies (8) Good night (499) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart

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  (509): Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart http://tfl.nu/gb8n
  Replies (6) Good night (1476) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.

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  (727): Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules. http://tfl.nu/9nm8
  Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.

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  (757): Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today. http://tfl.nu/c0a7
  Replies (7) Good night (529) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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  (614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q
  Replies (15) Good night (434) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.

  (1-310): View more from California

  That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.

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  (310): My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing. (1-310): That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens. http://tfl.nu/xmxh
  Replies (14) Good night (1911) Bad night (324)

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