I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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