Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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