I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize