I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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