His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
