i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize