toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sponge bath it is.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
