I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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