Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
