Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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