i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
