Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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