Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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