We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
