if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
