Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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