i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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