but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
