he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
