I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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