It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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