This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
