help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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