he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
