She said her name was "party"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
