I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
