Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
