your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Randomize
