The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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