ugly people sure do ruin things
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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