I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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