It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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