Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
