was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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