My underwear smells like fireworks.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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