weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
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You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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