mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
