Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
