But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
