Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
