I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
3 2 1 whiskey
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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