I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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