if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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