I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
