at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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