Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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