She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
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It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
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Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think I just sharted jello shots
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