I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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