just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
