he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
