Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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