You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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