some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
