I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
