TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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