hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.