I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
